New Year, New Attitude

I had a really tough last half of 2011, both physically and emotionally.  In my last post you saw that I had broken my ankle.  This really set me back, I think more emotionally than physically.  Then in October our niece, Ashley, died suddenly of still unknown causes.  More emotional stress.  I had a falling out with my Step-son, Christopher, more emotional stress.  My company moved it's facilities, now we're financially strapped, yet more emotional stress (I'm the bookkeeper). Then our personal finances have slowly dwindled for this and that (car repairs, etc.).  Needless to say I have been an emotional mess since July 31st 2011.

It has taken a toll on my confidence, motivation, and mental stability.  But, I am a fighter and survivor.  I get up everyday and do what has to be done, but it is hard.

I'm struggling with my weight, my eating is out of control.  I'm hooked on sugar and carbs again, oh and have regained my love for alcohol.  All bad!

I actually did something last night that I haven't done in probably 15 years, I actually stayed up past midnight on New Year's Eve, drinking way too much (don't worry, I didn't have to drive, I was at my next door neighbors).  I had a lot of fun, but this morning I'm remembering why I stopped that way of life many years ago.

So today is a new day, it's a new year, and I have a new attitude!  I'm planning on taking back my life.  It's going to be extremely hard to pull it together, but one of my goals for this year is to learn how to mono-task.  This will be the hardest thing I've ever had to learn how to do.  By nature, I need to be doing lots.  Sitting still isn't something I know how to do.  This isn't going to happen overnight, but I'm planning on taking it one day at a time.

I'm one of those people who dive in head first, full force, when I decide to do something, but this year, I'm going to do my best not to do that!  Baby steps are the key to success.  Therefore, I'm only going to commit to giving up one thing starting today - SUGAR.

Sugar is tied to lots of foods, so at the same time, this will help me step away from flour products too.

I also feel that if I'm going to give something up, I should add something to focus on.  So my added focus is to regain control of my finances.  That means, using my Quicken (that I've had for years and have fallen off the postings wagon) to keep track of everything. 

Eliminate - SUGAR
Add - CONTROL OF FINANCES

Both these tasks are going to be tough, but I will take it one day at a time.

Weigh in Thursdays

It's been a really long time, I know!  After my last post I had an accident.  I was participating in the Blood, Sweat, & Beers trail race on 7/31/11, stepped on a rock the wrong way, and broke my ankle, 3 miles into the 10 miler race.

So I've been out of touch since then.  I was in a cast and on crutches for 4 weeks, and now I'm in a boot for 4 weeks.  I should be out of the boot by the end of this month.  I do take it off when I'm at home and walk around, okay limp around, to strengthen the ankle.

It's been really tough.  I went through some depression at first because the rest of my summer was blown.  I had to pull out of my first cycle race, Holstein 100 (but I was only doing the 67 miler), and my first triatholon, Iron Girl Lake Tahoe Triatholon.  Then of course, all the other fun stuff I had planned, like more MTBing, kayaking, SUPing, etc., etc.

Temari Ball - Dragon Fly - it's been 2 years since I've done a Temari ball

But with the loss of my outside life, I've regained my inside life.  I am quilting more, once again.  I've also had to take a hard look at how much I've been doing, and being forced to slow down has really helped me to see that I need to be really picky about what I'm going to do in the future.  It's hard because I truly love to be outside doing extremely active stuff.  Sitting still is REALLY hard for me.

Block #4 from my Atlantis quilt - "Sea Flower"

But, I must say, I haven't let this "handicap" hold me back too much.  Diane, my trainer, came up with a good saying for me, "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."  It's so true.  I continued to workout with her as much as I could, modifying what needed to be modified in order for me to still get in a good workout. (She video'd me doing some of my workouts, click HERE to see). Now that I'm in the boot, I can do much more in her classes and I'm feeling good.

Now onto my weigh-in.  I'm having a hard time.  When I broke my ankle, I really thought that I would put on the weight because I wasn't exercising like I had been, but to my astonishment, I was dropping the pounds.  But now, it's like I had never lost them.  Within 1 week, I gained 6 pounds, how is that possible?  This is what last week's weigh-in revealed, a 6 pound gain in one week.  Today's weigh-in revealed no change in that #.  Is it because I'm now working out more and building up the muscle I had lost while in a cast?  That might be part of it, but not 6 pounds worth of muscle.  I will admit, my eating habits have been really bad, but not 19,200 extra calories in 1 week.  I had really hoped that it was a water thing and that this week would show a better #, but nope!

So, once again, my motivation is extremely low.  However, I'm starting a new Balanced Body Challenge at Diane's studio, and I'm hoping with a new challenge, and the fact that I can do more with my exercising, although not as much as I'm used to, and if I keep a tight reign around my eating, that I should be able to drop this poundage once again.  But the key is the my eating.

Here's to never giving up.

Weigh in Thursdays - a day late - plus MTB pics

Ok, I do have good intentions, but life doesn't seem to cooperate.  I really wanted to post at least every other day, but..........................

First, my weigh in yesterday left me distressed.  My weight was up, so I went into self destruct mode.  I can't tell you why.  It wasn't intentional, but it happened.

At first, I was really good, sticking to the plan.  But about 11a I started craving chocolate really bad.  I really, really, really wanted a Wendy's chocolate frosty. So I had a Twix bar.  Why?  Cuz it was easily available. UGH!  Then, Jen was going out for lunch and she knew how badly I wanted a Frosty.  So she comes back with a medium, not a small like I would've preferred, but a mediaum.  OMG - no control.  So that was lunch.

Then last night was our tri training night.  We were going to do a cycle and swim.  Well time constraints changed our plans to just a cycle.  The next thing I know, we're not cycling we're sitting inside Q'Bole for happy hour enjoying a beer, chips and salsa.

OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK today is a new day and I'm starting fresh once again.  So pray for me to maintain self control for the next week as my OFFICIAL Body Fit challenge weigh in is next Friday.  Oh there was another distressing #.  With last week's weigh in, even though I had lost weight, I had only lost a little bit of fat, I lost more muscle mass - NOT GOOD.  So Diane is really pushing me to up my protein.  This has been a huge struggle.  But I'm working on  it.

Ok enough with the depressing stuff.  This last weekend I went MTBing with my friends, Linda, Lisa, and Ralph up in Nevada City on the Pioneer Trail.  It was beautiful.

Linda, Ralph, Lisa and Me

I think I had the MOST fun on an MTB ride ever.  I let myself go a little crazy and I started testing my limits.  Riding up the sides of the trail, lifting the bike as I went over obstacles, getting airborne.  What a blast.

Showing of my muscles

Happy MTBer

This weekend I'm really pushing my limits and I'm going for a 32 mile road bike ride on actual roads - YIKES.  But I'll be with a group of well-seasoned riders and I know I'm in good hands.

Have a great weekend!