Desires

My number #1 goal in 2013 is to make peace with myself.  I've recently started juicing and I'm really seeing the benefits.

Along with that I've started following Kris Carr the author of Crazy Sexy Cancer and other books and her recent blog got me thinking.

What are my deepest desires?  Well there are a lot, but number one is to be financially stable.  But that is hard one to reach when you have adult kids who struggle as well.   But sometimes baby steps are needed and sometimes you have to take a different path to reach your #1 goal.

You can read her blog post HERE.  Here are my answers to her questions at the end of the blog.

My 3 Core desired feelings:

Gratitude
Joy
Contentment

What am I going to do in 2013: Continue to de-clutter, my home and my mind. Work on daily meditations and finding what I’m grateful for each day. (This (gratitude) has been extremely hard for me so it’s a huge goal for 2013.)

What am I doing this week: Juicing, exercising, journaling (another toughy for me!)

What I’m no longer doing: I’m not allowing others to control my emotions. I won’t allow anger or hurt or frustration to rule my day.

I'm really going to work on attaining these desires this year and will attempt to journal as much as possible.  I'm hoping to journal here.

I wish I could afford the Desire Map, but alas there are too many other necessities that demand the funds.  Perhaps this is another goal, stop wishing for stuff I can't afford.  LOL

WOW

Where does the time go?  I can't believe it's been since January that I've posted.  Life!

I don't want today's post to be about anything negative, only positive.  I'm working on that.

I recently joined Kevala Yoga in El Dorado Hills and I also decided to be apart of a "beta" program they are offering, called yoga 201.  It is a program to help you bring your yoga outside the studio.  Live your yoga.  We're 2 weeks in and I'm already learning a lot, about myself really.

I'm learning to meditate and I'm learning to let things (emotions) go.  I'm feeling good.

Last weekend was mine and Mark's 9th wedding anniversary and we once again went up to the mountains.  I just love it up there.  We spent everyday at the river.  Mark fished and I read.  I was definitely in a happy place.  You can see all the pictures HERE.

This week has been tiring as I've had a few late nights, one of those nights was taking a cooking class at Whole Foods in Sacramento.  The instructor was Jill Nussinow - The Veggie Queen - on pressure cooking.  I'm so excited to feel more comfortable with my pressure cooker.

I've also gone back to Diane to help me with my weight loss.  I'm still struggling.  She is now promoting plant-based eating and I'm excited to move back into my vegan lifestyle.  I'm really hopeful to be able to eliminate all animal proteins and still be able to recover from long runs/rides.

Oh and I've committed to my one and only 50k for this year.  Wilder Ranch 50k on Oct 6th.  I kind of lost my running mojo, but I'm hopeful that with the support of my trail running amigos, Lisa and Ralph, I'll once again find it again and we'll rock Wilder Ranch.

Ok that's it for now.  I have goal of at least a once a week update here.  Let's see if I can do.

Get dirty this weekend!!

No sugar please

Well day #1 of no sugar went really well.  Day #2, not so good.

We went and saw Krystal, our oldest granddaughter, to give her her Christmas presents, then we took her to WalMart with us.  After exploring the extremely huge Super WalMart in Roseville, oh and not seeing any of the people from the WalMart video, thank goodness, Krystal wanted to go to Wendy's.  I was good, at first, I started eating one of my Perfect Foods Bars so that I wouldn't be tempted, but, to no avail.  Mark got a Frosty and I HAD to share it with him.  There went my no sugar rule.  But that was the only sugar I had yesterday.  So really not too bad.

On the "add" side of my goals for this month, get my finances in order, I did work on cleaning up my Quicken files for 2 days.  I'm still not up to date, however, I am closer and I am feeling good about it.  My goal is to spend a little bit of time each night this week on Quicken getting accounts balance and up to date.  Hopefully by the end of the week I'll be where I want to be with my Quicken files.  Wish me luck.

Today, I met up with Lisa and we did stair repeats instead of hill repeats.  At first I didn't think it was gonna be the workout I had hoped for, but after a couple of repeats up those stairs I was definitely feeling it.  Tomorrow morning is my Spin class, then tomorrow afternoon I meet Linda for our weekly 1/2 mile increase.  This week we will be running 5.5 miles - woo hoo, I'm so excited, slowly my mileage is getting back up there.

Oh I also wanted to mention that I road cycled the most that I have ever done on Saturday 12/31/11.  44.3 miles, which included something like 2300 feet of climbing.  It was awesome.  I'll be ready for my first century in no time.

Have a great week.  I hope to check back in on Thursday for "weigh-in Thursday"  YIKES

Welcome to Flight #2012.

We are prepared to take off into the New Year. Please make sure your standards are secure and locked in an upright position. All Self-destructive devices should be turned off and put under your seat. Should we lose altitude under pressure during the flight, reach up and pull down a prayer. Prayers will be automatically activated by Faith. Faith will be your stewardess. Once Faith is fully activated, she can assist other passengers. There will be no baggage allowed on this flight. The Captain has cleared us for take off. Destination: Greatness! Enjoy your flight! Have an Amazing day, and an Amazing Year.

New Year, New Attitude

I had a really tough last half of 2011, both physically and emotionally.  In my last post you saw that I had broken my ankle.  This really set me back, I think more emotionally than physically.  Then in October our niece, Ashley, died suddenly of still unknown causes.  More emotional stress.  I had a falling out with my Step-son, Christopher, more emotional stress.  My company moved it's facilities, now we're financially strapped, yet more emotional stress (I'm the bookkeeper). Then our personal finances have slowly dwindled for this and that (car repairs, etc.).  Needless to say I have been an emotional mess since July 31st 2011.

It has taken a toll on my confidence, motivation, and mental stability.  But, I am a fighter and survivor.  I get up everyday and do what has to be done, but it is hard.

I'm struggling with my weight, my eating is out of control.  I'm hooked on sugar and carbs again, oh and have regained my love for alcohol.  All bad!

I actually did something last night that I haven't done in probably 15 years, I actually stayed up past midnight on New Year's Eve, drinking way too much (don't worry, I didn't have to drive, I was at my next door neighbors).  I had a lot of fun, but this morning I'm remembering why I stopped that way of life many years ago.

So today is a new day, it's a new year, and I have a new attitude!  I'm planning on taking back my life.  It's going to be extremely hard to pull it together, but one of my goals for this year is to learn how to mono-task.  This will be the hardest thing I've ever had to learn how to do.  By nature, I need to be doing lots.  Sitting still isn't something I know how to do.  This isn't going to happen overnight, but I'm planning on taking it one day at a time.

I'm one of those people who dive in head first, full force, when I decide to do something, but this year, I'm going to do my best not to do that!  Baby steps are the key to success.  Therefore, I'm only going to commit to giving up one thing starting today - SUGAR.

Sugar is tied to lots of foods, so at the same time, this will help me step away from flour products too.

I also feel that if I'm going to give something up, I should add something to focus on.  So my added focus is to regain control of my finances.  That means, using my Quicken (that I've had for years and have fallen off the postings wagon) to keep track of everything. 

Eliminate - SUGAR
Add - CONTROL OF FINANCES

Both these tasks are going to be tough, but I will take it one day at a time.

Weigh in Thursdays

It's been a really long time, I know!  After my last post I had an accident.  I was participating in the Blood, Sweat, & Beers trail race on 7/31/11, stepped on a rock the wrong way, and broke my ankle, 3 miles into the 10 miler race.

So I've been out of touch since then.  I was in a cast and on crutches for 4 weeks, and now I'm in a boot for 4 weeks.  I should be out of the boot by the end of this month.  I do take it off when I'm at home and walk around, okay limp around, to strengthen the ankle.

It's been really tough.  I went through some depression at first because the rest of my summer was blown.  I had to pull out of my first cycle race, Holstein 100 (but I was only doing the 67 miler), and my first triatholon, Iron Girl Lake Tahoe Triatholon.  Then of course, all the other fun stuff I had planned, like more MTBing, kayaking, SUPing, etc., etc.

Temari Ball - Dragon Fly - it's been 2 years since I've done a Temari ball

But with the loss of my outside life, I've regained my inside life.  I am quilting more, once again.  I've also had to take a hard look at how much I've been doing, and being forced to slow down has really helped me to see that I need to be really picky about what I'm going to do in the future.  It's hard because I truly love to be outside doing extremely active stuff.  Sitting still is REALLY hard for me.

Block #4 from my Atlantis quilt - "Sea Flower"

But, I must say, I haven't let this "handicap" hold me back too much.  Diane, my trainer, came up with a good saying for me, "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."  It's so true.  I continued to workout with her as much as I could, modifying what needed to be modified in order for me to still get in a good workout. (She video'd me doing some of my workouts, click HERE to see). Now that I'm in the boot, I can do much more in her classes and I'm feeling good.

Now onto my weigh-in.  I'm having a hard time.  When I broke my ankle, I really thought that I would put on the weight because I wasn't exercising like I had been, but to my astonishment, I was dropping the pounds.  But now, it's like I had never lost them.  Within 1 week, I gained 6 pounds, how is that possible?  This is what last week's weigh-in revealed, a 6 pound gain in one week.  Today's weigh-in revealed no change in that #.  Is it because I'm now working out more and building up the muscle I had lost while in a cast?  That might be part of it, but not 6 pounds worth of muscle.  I will admit, my eating habits have been really bad, but not 19,200 extra calories in 1 week.  I had really hoped that it was a water thing and that this week would show a better #, but nope!

So, once again, my motivation is extremely low.  However, I'm starting a new Balanced Body Challenge at Diane's studio, and I'm hoping with a new challenge, and the fact that I can do more with my exercising, although not as much as I'm used to, and if I keep a tight reign around my eating, that I should be able to drop this poundage once again.  But the key is the my eating.

Here's to never giving up.

Weigh in Thursdays - a day late - plus MTB pics

Ok, I do have good intentions, but life doesn't seem to cooperate.  I really wanted to post at least every other day, but..........................

First, my weigh in yesterday left me distressed.  My weight was up, so I went into self destruct mode.  I can't tell you why.  It wasn't intentional, but it happened.

At first, I was really good, sticking to the plan.  But about 11a I started craving chocolate really bad.  I really, really, really wanted a Wendy's chocolate frosty. So I had a Twix bar.  Why?  Cuz it was easily available. UGH!  Then, Jen was going out for lunch and she knew how badly I wanted a Frosty.  So she comes back with a medium, not a small like I would've preferred, but a mediaum.  OMG - no control.  So that was lunch.

Then last night was our tri training night.  We were going to do a cycle and swim.  Well time constraints changed our plans to just a cycle.  The next thing I know, we're not cycling we're sitting inside Q'Bole for happy hour enjoying a beer, chips and salsa.

OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK today is a new day and I'm starting fresh once again.  So pray for me to maintain self control for the next week as my OFFICIAL Body Fit challenge weigh in is next Friday.  Oh there was another distressing #.  With last week's weigh in, even though I had lost weight, I had only lost a little bit of fat, I lost more muscle mass - NOT GOOD.  So Diane is really pushing me to up my protein.  This has been a huge struggle.  But I'm working on  it.

Ok enough with the depressing stuff.  This last weekend I went MTBing with my friends, Linda, Lisa, and Ralph up in Nevada City on the Pioneer Trail.  It was beautiful.

Linda, Ralph, Lisa and Me

I think I had the MOST fun on an MTB ride ever.  I let myself go a little crazy and I started testing my limits.  Riding up the sides of the trail, lifting the bike as I went over obstacles, getting airborne.  What a blast.

Showing of my muscles

Happy MTBer

This weekend I'm really pushing my limits and I'm going for a 32 mile road bike ride on actual roads - YIKES.  But I'll be with a group of well-seasoned riders and I know I'm in good hands.

Have a great weekend!